How To Be a Real Writer

roadhouse1

Pretty sure this is the only blog where you’ll find writing tips via ROADHOUSE references

If you really want to piss me off, you can say the following phrase.  “Oh, I’m a real writer.”  At the very least, I’ll text everyone I know about what a goon you are, or I might sub-tweet you.  Maybe I’ll laugh in your face, or maybe I’ll go completely Patrick Swayze and rip your throat out, leaving your corpse on the floor of the coffee shop as a warning to others.

“Real” writers.  I heard that phrase a LOT in grad school.  I went to a grad program with a commercial fiction as well as a literary fiction program, and there was occasional contention between the two.  “Oh, I would never write for the pulps” (Yes, she actually said “pulps.” What is this, 1932?  Dial down the gaudy patter, ya loopy dame.)  “Oh, I write real fiction, but maybe I’ll write a sci-fi novel sometime!” (like it’s so easy, anyone can just slum it).  And it’s not just lit fic people.  I heard the “real writer” bullshit from people in my own workshops, who thought they were better that everyone else there because of some arbitrary metric, a goal post only they could kick the ball through.

Continue reading

The Big Rewind….Cover Reveal!

Here it is, the cover for my debut novel, The Big Rewind!

 

The Big Rewind Cover

I am beyond thrilled about this.  I had gone back and forth about it, choosing colors and such, with Chelsey (my editor) & Jim (my agent), who are the two most awesome people in the publishing world, but until now, the cover was still top-secret to my friends and followers.

Continue reading

How To Handle a Rejection Letter

Playlist:

“Every Day I Write the Book” Elvis Costello

“Sister I’m a Poet” Morrissey

“Here’s Where The Story Ends” The Sundays

Last night, I got a rejection letter from an agent I had queried about No Awkward Goodbyes well over a year ago, saying that while I had the chops, the novel was “too backstory and voice-heavy for me.”

That’s funny, of course, because three weeks ago, my agent, the brilliant and charming Jim McCarthy of Dystel & Goderich, sold No Awkward Goodbyes to Chelsey Emmelhainz at William Morrow, a division of HarperCollins, for release in early 2016.

Continue reading