Category: Movies
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Independence Day: Resurgence Is The Worst Movie Ever Made
Independence Day: Resurgence is the single worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life, and the only reason I’m mad about it being a flop is because this means I have no one to talk through the pain with. “But Libby,” you might say, wise reader that you are. “You knew it was…
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Sin City: A Dame To Kill For
Tonight I will do the exceptionally stupid. Tonight I will watch Sin City 2: A Dame to Kill For. Yes, again. Let me explain: I’ve spoken before about how Sin City is one of the most important films of my 20s. But the story I don’t often tell is this. A Dame to Kill For got my friend…
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Why I Don’t Leave Negative Reviews
I have friends that leave reviews constantly. Liked the restaurant we ate at? Write a review on Yelp. Hated the movie we saw? A full rant is up on Facebook that night. The phrase “Everyone’s a Critic” has never been truer. Between Amazon and Yelp and, I dunno, MoviePoopShoot, everyone can tell you exactly…
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On Writing “Rough Night in Little Toke”
You kids, with your fancy animes and your Crackles and your CrunchyRolls, you don’t know how hard the rest of us used to have it! Back in my day, we had to get anime from a CATALOG. Specifically, the Viz catalog, which arrived every so often (quarterly, perhaps?) at my house on Park Place. It…
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On Missing Girls & Why I Can’t Listen to Eric Clapton
The Back to the Future soundtrack is the sound of happiness. If you don’t love “The Power of Love” than you are an inhuman monster and we have nothing to talk about. But on a weirder, darker note, I can’t listen to Eric Clapton’s “Heaven is One Step Away,” on the A-side. It’s a halfway decent…
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A Think-Piece for Future Day
About a year ago, I had to admit to myself what I always secretly knew was true — that for as much as I loved Star Wars as a kid, Back to the Future was my pick for the Greatest Trilogy of All Time. It wasn’t an easy thing to confess; much of my teens had…
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De-Stem Your Prose: Writing Advice from SIDEWAYS
“They didn’t de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullshit.” Miles (Paul Giamatti) Sideways. This is my favorite way to describe over-wrought prose. Back in college, writing “leaves and sticks and mice” in the margins was a shorthand among my friends…
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7 Reasons Why I Will Not See The Force Awakens: A Poem
1. we are told to thanks/praise what the Creator has given us; in this same breath we are warned of idol worship 2. i’m a Rebel without an alliance 3. the tragedy of film, Luke, is that the actors grow old and weak. this shall not happen to Han Solo 4. two words: Dexter. Jettster. 5. i have left behind…
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Guest Post at The Insatiable Critic
Liz, who is one of my favorite people on the entire planet because she’s another fashionable lunatic like me, invited me to write for her awesome blog The Insatiable Critic. This prospect terrified me, because I’ve seen four movies this year and two of them were Muppets Most Wanted (I fucking loved Muppets Most Wanted) and I got…